Fake Bigfoot was a hoax – no kidding

Remember the fake Bigfoot DNA a few weeks ago?  The story was updated a week later but I missed it because I was washing my hair or something.  The corpse surfaced and turned out to be a frozen Halloween costume.  That takes guts.  I wonder why they thought that freezing it was necessary.  I also wonder how self-styled “Sasquatch detective” Steve Kulls needed two hours to realize it was a totally lame fake. 

People see what they want to see, I guess.  At least Kulls eventually figured it out.

No Lemmys.

Bigfoot DNA? You’ve got to be kidding

They seem to be serious, but that doesn’t mean that they have to be taken seriously.

Every year at Camp Sangamon For Boys (“The camp with the pioneer spirit”), there would be a kid who would make outlandish claims that couldn’t be proven or disproven.  “My dad is a millionaire…my uncle beat up Bruce Lee…I got a ride in a UFO…I saw Billy kiss the camp nurse…”  Those kids all grew up to be to be Bigfoot hoaxers.  If you don’t believe me, find those kids and show me I’m wrong. 

Of course, that’s a ridiculous thing to say.  It is my responsibility to find those kids and prove to you what they are doing now.  The point is that if you make an extraordinary claim, you better have extraordinary evidence to back it up.  Bear that in mind as we discuss this week’s Bigfoot news.

The other day, two Bigfoot hunters said that they had found a real Bigfoot corpse.  They posted a crummy photo on the internet and announced a press conference for yesterday, at which they would release–not the actual body or other physical evidence–not good photos–not even testimony from respected scientists–Bigfoot DNA.  Well, not actual DNA.   They would announce the results from a DNA test.  (Not that anybody has real Bigfoot DNA to compare it to.)

These guys sell Bigfoot merchandise and the annoucement was made by a guy even Bigfoot enthusiasts don’t believe named Tom Biscardi, so we ought to be skeptical.  (Note: this link may break.  Some time between Thursday and today they made the forum password-protected.  I linked to Google’s cached version of the conversation.) 

This thing stinks more than a dead 7 foot tall mammal stored in a broken freezer.  Why am I bothering?  Because it’s such a great example of bad science.  They probably have no real evidence, so they offered some garbage that sounds high tech.  What surprised me, though, was that they were unable to fake the DNA test results.

No Lemmys.

Body-builders might not have lower sperm counts

Most people pussy-foot around when they talk about sex.  Scientists do.  Rock and rollers don’t.  The goal of this blog is to demonstrate the compatibility of rock and roll and science.  Let’s see what a little rock and roll clarity can do for a recent story that has been covered by the science press

The core of the story is that a study by Jorge E. Chavarro, et al. published in Human Reproduction shows a link between soy consumption and lowered sperm count in 99 men.  A study of 99 men, from a fertility clinic in Boston of all places, really isn’t enough to draw any conclusion other than that this might be worth looking into further.

Let’s think about this while we await further research.  I’d like you young dudes out there to try not to snicker.  This is a very serious issue to some of the older cats.  They already feel threatened enough by you guys so don’t make it worse.  One of them probably is your boss and he has already noticed that the receptionist laughs at all of your jokes. 

The rocker reaction might be, “You say that like its a bad thing.”  All of Rock Dad’s bands were awesome [B.S. (bad science) alert #1: unsubstantiated claim], but even my friends who were in lame bands found that the interesting girls/women paid more attention to guys in bands.  It still was necessary to follow up correctly.  Some of the guys who were better at following up may have found themselves at times wishing that they were a little less successful.  It’s possible to spend quite a lot of energy trying not to get people pregnant.  Accidents happen, KWIM?  A lower sperm count might make accidents a little less likely.

Soy protein powders, such as performance or body builder powders were among the soy foods studied.  If you are older than 30, you may remember when the jocks and the rockers were entirely separate crowds.  If not, you can check out this post for a history lesson on metal fans.  It’s really only been since Limp Bizkit hit in the mid-1990s that rock guys were supposed to look like professional wrestlers.  If you are old enough to remember when the football team warmed up to “The Heat Is On” and have kids, then you are allowed to snicker at those ex-body builders who made your life hell. 

What if you are a vegetarian and eat lots of soy?  Well, Rock Dad was a vegetarian for ten years before Mrs. Rock became pregnant.  No problem.  [B.S. (bad science) alert #2: anecdotal evidence.]  Vegetarians attract very interesting women, such as Mrs. Rock.

We all should check things out for ourselves when possible.  Scientists are really good at this, which is why the authors use the word “suggests” instead of “proves.”   Music fans are not always so credulous, which is why people think Colbie Caillat is an internet phenomenon who recorded her album “at home” even though her father is a totally-connected music exec.  (Rock Dad checks things out…)  While checking out the original article, I picked up on the following:

A Dr. Johnson found that Asian men have lighter testicles than American men.    They only studied 32 men so don’t get all AC/DC on us.

(I recently criticized AC/DC but they are so relevant here.)  It may seem strange that Chavarro would bring this up.  He wondered if all the soy they eat in Asia contributed to the difference. 

The jury is still out on soy and male fertility, so for now eating soy is like wearing a pink shirt.  Consider it a sign that someone is very confident of his masculinity. 

We give this story three Lemmys (out of five.)

Keep on truckin’,

Rock Dad.